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My Top 10 Dad Jokes

I have a bit of a reputation for sharing bad dad jokes. So I thought I would compile a list of my top 10 for you to enjoy!

In reverse order

10.

A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is to not form an emotional bond.

9.

Sometimes I use words I don’t understand so I can sound more Photosynthesis.

8.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

7.

What would you catch if you had sex with Harry Potter? Genital Hogwarts.

6.

My pet mouse Elvis died last night. He was caught in a trap.

5.

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

4.

Donald trump better not be president or there will be hell toupee

3.

We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhoea. Runs in our jeans

2.

I had a horrible dream last night that I was being chased by Eddie Stobart. It was a logistical nightmare.

1.

How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box

Just outside the top 10

Dream Jokes

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

Doctor Jokes

Me: “Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home” Dr: “Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome” Me: “Is it common?” Dr: “It’s not unusual”

If you have some good dad jokes then please comment below and let me know!


About Me

Tim James I'm Tim, a web applications developer from Glasgow, Scotland. Currently working for Kingfisher Systems Ltd, building bespoke systems within the Car Auction industry.

  • C#
  • VB.NET
  • ASP.NET
  • .NET MVC
  • Web API
  • Razor
  • HTML5
  • CSS3
  • jQuery
  • WCF
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  • knockout.js
  • Angularjs
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  • APIs
  • SignalR
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