Hey I would love to know what you think while reading my posts. Please comment!.

My Top 10 Dad Jokes

I have a bit of a reputation for sharing bad dad jokes. So I thought I would compile a list of my top 10 for you to enjoy!

In reverse order


A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is to not form an emotional bond.


Sometimes I use words I don’t understand so I can sound more Photosynthesis.


I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.


What would you catch if you had sex with Harry Potter? Genital Hogwarts.


My pet mouse Elvis died last night. He was caught in a trap.


I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.


Donald trump better not be president or there will be hell toupee


We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhoea. Runs in our jeans


I had a horrible dream last night that I was being chased by Eddie Stobart. It was a logistical nightmare.


How come Barbie never got pregnant? Because Ken always came in another box

Just outside the top 10

Dream Jokes

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

Doctor Jokes

Me: “Doctor, I can’t stop singing the Green Green Grass of Home” Dr: “Sounds like you have Tom Jones syndrome” Me: “Is it common?” Dr: “It’s not unusual”

If you have some good dad jokes then please comment below and let me know!

About Me

Tim James I'm Tim, a web applications developer from Glasgow, Scotland. Currently working for Kingfisher Systems Ltd, building bespoke systems within the Car Auction industry.

  • C#
  • VB.NET
  • .NET MVC
  • Web API
  • Razor
  • HTML5
  • CSS3
  • jQuery
  • WCF
  • SQL
  • knockout.js
  • Angularjs
  • AJAX
  • APIs
  • SignalR
Why not follow me on twitter? Follow me on Twitter